


Of Doom And Skateboards.

by JustACapybara



Category: Homestuck
Genre: at least until people bother me to write other homestuck fics, possibly the last homestuck fic for a little while
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:16:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24614383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustACapybara/pseuds/JustACapybara
Summary: A doomed player, forced to wander the land of the dead with his loved one. A dead Hero, long since slain by one of her own peers, heart still pure and mind still sharp. In the place where nothing matters except an infinitely long and winding clock, forever counting down to an uncertain moment.And… they’re both bored out of their skulls. Well, one of them is. The other is getting pretty entertained trying to cheer them up.
Relationships: Sollux Captor/Aradia Megido
Kudos: 6





	Of Doom And Skateboards.

“y3s.”

“n0.”

“you would look absolut3ly r4d1c4l r1d1ng on3 4nd you know 1t.”

“c00l.”

“com3 on!!!!”

“l00k.”

“y34h?”

“n0.”

Latula groaned, before taking a seat beside the half-blind Mage. They were staring out into the merging of their homeworlds; the same set of streets, twisting unto themselves as the gruesome brutality of Alternia merging and melting into the sickly and aggressive push towards eternal happiness that was Beforus, despite the mental tow the hedonism had on everyone. Currently, they sat beside a relatively untouched Beforian skateboard park with chibified, comically reductive stereotypes for each blood type spray-painted on the sides, alongside a few rebel words like ‘bucket’ or 'burn it all’.

It used to be a culling plaza in Alternia. Sollux kind of wishes it still was.

“com3 on stop b31ng such 4 squ4r3.”

“i always felt like m0re 0f a decahedr0n myself.”

“wh4t3v3r n3rd, com3 b3 cool. s3r1ously 1’m try1ng to do you 4 sol1d h3r3!”

“is anything even really s0lid here?”

“oh. oh no. pl34s3 don’t.”

“i have sp0ken with like at least thirty kankris in the last… as far as i remember, and i will use all the bitchiness inside me t0 screw up y0ur day. metaphorically.”

“why 4r3 you b3nt on b31ng such a n333rd. your mat3spr1t 1s 4 t1m3 pl4y3r 4nd st1ll not 4s 4nnoy1ng.”

“… are y0u f0r real calling time players ann0ying t0 my face.”

“1 m3an 1 only really know your m4t3spr1t 4nd d4m4r4. but to 4nsw3r your qu3st1on, ours k1nd4 w4s. d1d mor3 th4n 4 f3w d1ck moves. but 1t’s 4ll w4t3r und3r th3 br1dg3 s1nc3 w3'r3 4ll fuck1ng d34d!!!! 4nd 1 l1k3d h3r 4nyw4y. w3 w3r3… ok4y1sh rails.”

“huh. neat.”

“y34h. w4nn4 sk4t3, n3rd?”

“n0.”

“d4mn, you'r3 good 4t th1s. 1 usu4lly got Cronus w1th th4t on3. long s3nt3nc3 4nd boom- qu1ck j4b to th3 po1nt. 1 lov3d h1s f4c3 wh3n h3 r34l1z3d w3 w3r3n’t dat1ng.”

“heh. jab.”

The Knight turned to face him, tilting her head with a slightly confused expression, told mostly by frown and lips. Those glasses sure made reading her eyes hard. Especially when he only had one.

“y34h, j4b. l1k3.” Pap. Straight on his head. “j4b. th4t j4b. r1ght…?”

“… 0h. yep. that 0ne.”

“sp1t 1t out.”

Sollux spit out a broken tooth. It had been loose for a long while, and he was dead, so, no point keeping that uncomfortable thing around. Maybe it’d finally start growing back now?

“… th4t’s d1sgust1ng. n1c3.”

“yeah.”

“y34h now t3ll m3 wh4t j4bb1ng 1s!” The whole block would’ve been able to hear him groaning. If there was anyone living on that block. But, Aradia was busy talking to the rest of the group still, asking them things so she could better know how to handle their other, alternate selves.

“like…” He poked her. Not as hard as a real jab would be; even only being half-dead, and a yellowblood, and a massive nerd with little to no physical attributes worth mentioning, any Alternian troll would pretty much be able to rip a Beforian in half. Just a wee bop. Enough that his nails dug into the suit, pressing skin and bruising it for surely at least a few minutes, plus a few seconds of an annoying sting of pain.

“th4t’s horr1bl3.” She replied in kind, before poking him too. A bit harder than he did, and he was quite frail, but he didn’t drop dead. Er. So he saw it for what it was, a jest from Terezi’s ancestor. Just as annoying and annoyingly cunning. And incredibly pushy. And just… wow they really were their dancestor’s kin, huh. The realization made him sigh.

“sure is.”

“m4n 1'v3 b33n d34d for l1ke, 4t l34st 4 doze3n sw33ps 4nd 1’m st1ll mor3 4l1v3 th4n your only h4lf-d34d s3lf. wh4t’s wrong? 1s 1t m1tun4?”

“… why w0uld it be him?”

“dunno. wh3n you 4ll c4me to v1s1t 4nd t4lk to us 4nd… w3ll m1tun4 c4n b3 d1ff1cult, 1 und3rst4nd.”

“nah. 0ther than the fact he keeps hitting 0n me, my girlfriend and then his 0wn head, he’s… fine. kinda smart. surprised he hadn’t learned ~ath until i sh0wed him. picked up 0n it fairly quickly. faster than karkat.” He rolled his eyes. “guess it’s just a d00m thing.”

“sounds l1k3 n3rd t4lk. gl4d you l1k3 h1m, though! th4t’s prob4bly good to h34r.”

“why w0uldn’t it be?”

“… c4n 1 b3 hon3st.”

“n0pe.”

“ny3h3h3h3.” She lowered her glasses just enough to wink at him, before pointing finger guns at him. “y34h, uh, your… 4r4n34… k1nd4…”

“sucks?”

“sc4r3s m3.”

“damn. still zer0 0n that fr0nt.”

“you h4t3 h3r?”

“… it’s a l0ng st0ry.”

“w3 h4… oh… oh. y34h no 1 g3t 1t. 1mma b4ck out.”

“thanks.” He put up a fistbump, expecting her to bump knuckles with him.

But after a few seconds of being left hanging, he just slowly lowered his fist and placed it beside him.

“so… l1k3 wh4t w4s 1t l1k3?”

“what?”

“4lt3rn14.”

“sucked.”

“y34h, but l1k3, why?”

He pointed at the hatchets marking the house of an oliveblood that pissed off the wrong crew, now painted with nearly all colors of the spectrum, and an olive mark dragging itself across the street before it just pooled into an olive puddle. When Sollux saw it out of his complex’s window there was a body there. Maybe the olive blood wasn’t 'deemed important’ enough by the bubbles to be carried over in that memory. The thought sickened him.

“th4t’s wh4t 1 th1nk 1t 1s, r1ght.”

“l0ts of it.”

“sh1t.” Voice barely above a whisper. “couldn’t th3y h4v3… l1k3… cull3d '3m?”

"i mean. they kinda did." His hand gestured at the bloody trail of olive.

"4lt3rn14 sur3 w4s... uhm." She could just nod. "sur3 w4s 4 pl4c3."

"and bef0rus?"

"3h... w3ll, p3opl3 w3r3n't dy1ng on th3 str33ts."

"n0 shit. next you'll tell me there was n0 hem0spectrum."

"1 m34n, p3opl3 st1ll d13d. w3 just. cov3r3d 1t up b3tt3r. 1 k1nd4 w4nt3d to b3 l1k3... w3ll... l1k3 our 4nc3stors! but y34h."

"like y0ur what now?"

"w3, l1k3, w3r3 cool myth1c4l f1gur3s 1n 4lt3rn14, r1ght?"

"... are y0u telling me i was s0me s0rt 0f legendary beekeeper 0r s0mething."

"no? no, no you got 1t wrong. uh. ok so t3r3z1 w4s th3 r3ckon3r. sh3... w3ll sh3 k1nd4 tr13d h3lp1ng. sh3 w4sn't 4fr41d of b31ng v1ol3nt. sh3 w4s so r4d1c4l. 4nd h3r co1n fl1p... w3ll 1t f41l3d h3r 1n th3 3nd but hon3stly 1t w4s so b4d4ss. sh3 fought th3 syst3m 4nd uh. 'd1s4pp34r3d.'"

"huh." 

"y34h, you dork!!! w3 f3lt th3 s4m3 w4y wh3n w3 d1scov3r3d th4t w4s, l1k3, 4 th1ng!"

"s0 bef0rus wasn't as b0ring as i th0ught?"

"1 m34n, do you l1k3 p3opl3 go1ng m1ss1ng so 3v3ryon3 c4n pr3t3nd to st4y h4ppy? 4nd cull1ng w4s th3 worst. 1 w4s lucky..."

"yeah, terezi t00. surprised y0u tw0 managed t0 stay alive."

"cull1ng m34ns d34th, do3sn't 1t."

"yep."

"1s 3v3ryth1ng on 4lt3rn14 d34th?"

"basically. h0w were the undead?"

"3h, th3 dron3s took c4r3 of th3m 4longs1d3 th3 r41nbow dr1nk3rs."

"d0pe."

"y34h. w4nn4 sk4t3?"

"yeah."

"w3ll, 1 tr1-- w41t wh4t?"

"y0u can't talk while we're skating, right? i'll take that." He got up, dusting his back from the dirt on the ground. "i'm dead, i d0n't want t0 be depressed t00."

"h3ll y34h, l1ttl3 m4n! th4t's th3 4tt1tud3!" Latula got up in a jump, handing him the skateboard. It used to be they were all the rage until they could make basically anything they wanted, then everyone stopped using them, except Mituna and her occasionally. Which was lame. Everyone looked cooler with skateboards, and she knew it. Even this H4LF-D34D DORK!

"i feel like i'm g0nna crack my skull 0n c0ncrete if i actually try riding this." He mumbled as they walked to the concave concrete construct.

"h3h3h3. m4yb3. c4n you g3t 4ny d34d3r, though?" She crossed her arms, giving him a cocky smirk.

"actually yeah but i'd rather get extra dead than keep talking about it."

"oh r1ght th3 h4lf-d34d th1ng. y34h ok my guy, 1'll l34v3 you b3. 4nd uh. do you 4ctu4lly w4nt to sk4t3?"

"d0 i l00k like i want t0 skate."

She gave him a good look from horn tip to toe, straining her face to pretend she was actually judging if he wanted to skate, as if it wasn't obvious.

"nop3."

"very 0bservant. i d0n't."

"1c3 cold, l1ttl3 m4n."

"why d0 y0u call me that anyway? i'm taller than y0u. and i'm like. at least a few sweeps y0unger."

"3x4ctly! do you pr3f3r grub boy?"

"i just might."

"oh sh1t. n3v3r cons1d3r3d th4t." She smirked, taking the skateboard out of his hands. "so... l1k3... wh4t do you w4nt to do unt1l 4r4d1...3?"

"aradia."

"4r4d14 com3s b4ck?"

"i d0n't think i have anything very radical f0r y0u. h0nestly i kinda just want t0 see if i can take care 0f dead dream bees."

"sh1t m4n, th4t sounds pr3tty r4d1c4l, 4ctu4lly. 4nd k1nd! 3v3n for m3, ny3h3h3. l3t's go t4k3 c4r3 of b33s, n3rd. m4yb3 t34ch m3 som3 b33 stuff 1f you'r3 up to 1t! n3rd sh1t som3t1m3s 1s r34lly fun."

"... w0uld y0u perhaps be willing t0, i d0n't kn0w, hear ab0ut... c0des?"

"spy sh1t 1s cool too."

"n0t that kind 0f c0de."

"pffft, 1 know n3rd." She did, in fact, not.

"well, d0 you?"

"sur3... just uh... st4rt pr3tty b4s1c, y34h?" She grinned, and soon enough the two were out for his hive, yammering on and on about the banalest bee stuff, skateboards, and the occasional ~ath theory that Latula had no idea how to respond to, until Aradia came to wish Latula goodbye, and have them continue their merry journey through the land of the deceased.


End file.
